Everything that follows is the archive for this blog, which has been active since 2005.
FICTION Sign of the Tims Picture Yourself Making Memories in places like Houston,
St. Louis, and much more. The Most Recent Days of Rocco Bossy Making Peace with Contemporary Art:
A Conversation with Jasper Johns' Flag Daniel Went Down to the Waterfront to Pick up Some Sailors,
Even Though He's Not Gay The Mosquitoes are Back Man Vs. Machine:
Treadmill at the Gym Edition Prix Fixe Here is What Happened on the Day I Decided to
Sit by the Highway and Wave at Passing Cars Our Janitor, He Has a Very Positive Attitude Youth At Risk An Open Letter To American Consumers Something About An Ensemble of Parallel Universes Everyday Tragedies Enjoying the Holidays with Mitch Andrews,
the Guy Who Directs Loading Zone Traffic at the Airport The Steadily Growing Case for Teleportation Ebay: Questions for Seller Carl Franks Is A Terrible Superhero An Open Letter To Jane Pauley,
A Celebrity With Whom I Happen To Share A Birthday We Are Culturally Unwell And Generally Terrible At Driving These Things Will Appear To Be From Fondness Her Name Is Chalucy Give Me A Quarter, I'll Tell You Your Fortune She Has a Tattoo on the Inside of Her Wrist Things Got Complicated When Phil
Attended That Group Session For People With Anxiety Eddie and Ramone Will Freak Your Shit Out The Unusual Emigration of Franklin Lewitt
NOT FICTION Recent Indicators that it Might be Time to Leave Portland Currently Events: November A Critical Review of the Art Included With an Adult Novelty Comb A Leg Up Some Different Kinds of Lassies The Game of Hoophole Middle Ground Currently Events: March Recent Desperations Something Else About Garbage Crass Transit Ruin Your Morning: A Primer Sprung Adult Education There Will Always Be Another Train At the End of August Nobody Likes To See an Old Lady Hustle Exit Strategy Schools In Crisis Opportunities and Constraints Here Goes Everything Something About The State Of Modern Puppetry I Went To The Giant Corn Maze And All I Got Was This Lousy Murderous Rage You So Crazy At The Speed Of Your Last Good Summer Killingsworth and Interstate The Toilets in Detroit Have Astonishingly Long Flushes Hutto Hutto Hippos Anxiety in the Mathroom Soapbox Fever: Not Spread by Monkeys God Called. He's Pissed About That Daily Aspirin You're Taking For Everything Else, There's Petty Retaliation Anatomy of a Trifle Art of the Bargument
LISTS The Best Defense Is A Possible Outcomes of the App that Makes
Your iPhone Sound Like a Dog's Squeaky Toy Bad Times to Release the Kraken Your Newest Painting May Actually Be Crap Lesser Known Yoga Poses What's on My Bus Seat? Comments Spoken or Overheard at Cirque Du Soleil Some Reasons You Might Need to Drive Around The City in
That Land Rover Equipped With an Engine Snorkel Believable Reasons for Being Late For Work Less Popular Nativity Scene Figurines Comments Spoken or Overheard During
A Recent Viewing of March of the Penguins A Few of the Unfortunate Side Effects Experienced After Taking
A Double Dose of Recently Expired Tussin Lesser Known Chess Moves Some Things I Honked at During The Month of September Some New Numbers That are Not Likely To Catch On Nicknames That Have Not Been Well Received
By This Summer's Interns Fictional Board Games You Might Consider
Given The Appropriate Circumstances The Cows May Have Come Home Eight Minutes What's Missing from Your Vegan Meal? Common Work Phrase or Sexual Euphemism? Possible Last Names for Men Who Are Nicknamed Al,
Listed in Order from Most to Least Cool Kentucky Derby Racehorse or Celebrity Baby? Some Lists for Which I Have No Lists A Few of the Names Submitted for a Recent Round of the Famous Name Game Hard Lessons Learned by Arnold of Television's "Diff'rent Strokes" I'll Take "Popes A Poppin" To Win in the Fifth What to Expect After March Madness Yanni Song or Ralph Lauren Paint Color?
TWINS IN UTERO Insane in the Membrane Something to Look Forward To The Reason for the Season Siss Boom Blah
FOUND/TAKEN Found Dog What Tourists Love Doomed Relationships: Torn Pablo Bandito Doomed Relationships: Goodbye, Enjoy Guilty Try it Again,
This Time With More Frampton TalkBox Arrive Alive Untitled Personal Jesuses Your Mandates Are Less Impressive
For Your Choice of Stationary A "Baloo" is a "Bear" Hunt and Peck This Note Will Be Less Interesting
Than The One Just Inside The Door Your Life Will Never Again Be So Simple And Even if it Were,
You Probably Wouldn't Actually Enjoy It Made in China Doomed Relationships: What Teal May Have Done With Jada Note To Someone Else Doomed Relationships: Corey and Your Lady L.L. Dinner With Earcell This Moveable Feast Doomed Relationships: Heart This Doomed Relationships:
I LOVE YOU SO MU - Wait, Hang On, My Cab's Here Bay of Babka My Other Elephant Is A Camaro Doomed Relationships:
Best "Monthsary" Present Ever Doomed Relationships: XOXOXOXOXO Etc. Doomed Relationships: Best Honeymoon Ever Don't Ask Don't Tell "I want those little shits to know EXACTLY how much it's gonna cost." So Noted
OVERHEARD A Recent Bromance Sneezing, Itchy Eyes, Headaches
and Invisible Bugs Crawling All Over Your Arms Summer of No Love Great Moments in Mentoring:
Revisionist Compromise Great Moments in Mentoring:
Where Do Superbabies Come From? Titans of Nutriment Deaf Frogs Can't Jump Dads: What The Hell Is Wrong With These People Jesus Saves (You Money On Entertainment) Trouser Trauma Titans of Textile Recent Challenges of Mettle Part One: Breakfast for Lunch Recent Challenges of Mettle Part Two: Growing It Up Kids These Days
